Learning to Love

"I remember Christian teachers telling me long ago that I must hate a bad man's actions but not hate the bad man: or, as they would say, hate the sin but not the sinner....I used to think this a silly, straw splitting distinction: how could you hate what a man did and not hate the man? But years later it occurred to me that there was one man to whom I had been doing this all my life--namely myself. However much I might dislike my own cowardice or conceit or greed, I went on loving myself. There had never been the slightest difficulty about it. In fact the very reason why I hated the things was that I loved the man. Just because I loved myself, I was sorry to find I was the sort of man who did those things." -C.S. Lewis from Mere Christianity

Last Sunday our pastor had a challenging question, "What kind of person is hardest for you to love?" I thought to myself and I looked at my friend and I said, "Those who take advantage of other people's kindness." I know in my heart that at that moment I was struggling to love those people in my life. I knew that I definitely need help in learning to love these kinds of people. But it never came to my mind that however many mistakes I have made I choose to take care of myself and I choose to love myself. As C.S. Lewis have written that realization that we ourselves commit different mistakes but we still learn to love ourselves. Some might not have learned to love themselves but I have.

When someone did something wrong to us we almost want to break their bones or not see them at all if we are out of control. But the greatest commandment is, to "Love one another" or "Love your enemies" to be more appropriate. The very person who has given this--Jesus is the best example of loving enemies. He is the very person of whom we have taken advantage the kindness He has given us. The very people that asked Pontious Pilate to crucify Him were those of whom he healed and helped during his time. They did not know how to be thankful instead they ridiculed him and enjoyed his suffering. I have taken advantage of His kindness one way or another. I know that because He is forgiving there were moments I wasn't careful of my actions and it led me to sin against Him. But He, the reason why real love exists is able to bear all those pain I cause Him and love me all the same. Perhaps, the more I look to Him the more I am able to love without conditions.

"To love is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable." -C.S. Lewis on The Four Loves

This quotation says it all. When you choose to love your heart will break in different times and be broken by different people. But you also can choose not to love but it will be as if you are walking dead because your heart is so hard that it cannot be made alive.

I'd rather love and experience brokenness than not love at all and experience absolute sadness. After all, my God, whom I serve, is a mender of broken hearts.

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" -Ps. 34:18

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." -Ps. 147:3

Not Just Any Prince

The innocent, young woman in me just wanted to show kindness to someone who expressed the need for help. But then here you go with your agenda and I can read through your words that your intentions was more than getting help from a friend. I knew then and there that it was not my help you needed.

For a second, it almost seemed like you were treating me like a princess--many girls dream to be one. By the look in your eyes and by the flattering words you spell you almost got me into your net.

But no, you didn't get me. By the wisdom bestowed upon me by my parents and advisors I knew your intentions were wrong. Suddenly disgust started to flow through my veins. Disgust for people like you who do not think well before they say. Disgust for people like you who take young, innocent women's kindness for granted. What if I was too innocent to have bitten your apple? I can foresee what will become of me.

No, I did not say it was wrong for you to love--if then it was love. Was it love? I know for a fact it is not. Not the real love because "...perfect love casts out fear." (1 John 4:18) Your actions created great fear that I feel like running away in a faraway land. No it is not real love because God is love and therefore any action that does not come from Him is not love (1 John 4:8). You were too quick as if you have not thought about what you were doing.

Enough of this deception of yours for your needs would not be satisfied by anyone but God. He is the only one that can bring the friendship you are longing not me nor any other woman. I do not want to be your princess because I am already His princess. I will always be His--God's princess. He will be the only one to say which prince He will entrust me with.

Dear lady,

Be careful whom you trust. "... be wise as serpents and innocent as doves"-Matthew 10:16
There will be men who will try to run after you who use different styles to get you. Do not easily bite the fruit if you don't really know what you are eating and where it will bring you. Seek advice and do not make decisions quickly but do things with careful consideration; it is your heart and life that is on the line. There will be those who just want to deceive you for their personal gain. Be alert and do not depend on your feelings or you might fall into a trap. By the way do not hate them just hate what they do. If ever your heart was already broken refer to my next blog about http://heartintentions.blogspot.com/2012/11/learning-to-love.html

Your beloved lady like,

 

Stancy