Learning to Love

"I remember Christian teachers telling me long ago that I must hate a bad man's actions but not hate the bad man: or, as they would say, hate the sin but not the sinner....I used to think this a silly, straw splitting distinction: how could you hate what a man did and not hate the man? But years later it occurred to me that there was one man to whom I had been doing this all my life--namely myself. However much I might dislike my own cowardice or conceit or greed, I went on loving myself. There had never been the slightest difficulty about it. In fact the very reason why I hated the things was that I loved the man. Just because I loved myself, I was sorry to find I was the sort of man who did those things." -C.S. Lewis from Mere Christianity

Last Sunday our pastor had a challenging question, "What kind of person is hardest for you to love?" I thought to myself and I looked at my friend and I said, "Those who take advantage of other people's kindness." I know in my heart that at that moment I was struggling to love those people in my life. I knew that I definitely need help in learning to love these kinds of people. But it never came to my mind that however many mistakes I have made I choose to take care of myself and I choose to love myself. As C.S. Lewis have written that realization that we ourselves commit different mistakes but we still learn to love ourselves. Some might not have learned to love themselves but I have.

When someone did something wrong to us we almost want to break their bones or not see them at all if we are out of control. But the greatest commandment is, to "Love one another" or "Love your enemies" to be more appropriate. The very person who has given this--Jesus is the best example of loving enemies. He is the very person of whom we have taken advantage the kindness He has given us. The very people that asked Pontious Pilate to crucify Him were those of whom he healed and helped during his time. They did not know how to be thankful instead they ridiculed him and enjoyed his suffering. I have taken advantage of His kindness one way or another. I know that because He is forgiving there were moments I wasn't careful of my actions and it led me to sin against Him. But He, the reason why real love exists is able to bear all those pain I cause Him and love me all the same. Perhaps, the more I look to Him the more I am able to love without conditions.

"To love is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable." -C.S. Lewis on The Four Loves

This quotation says it all. When you choose to love your heart will break in different times and be broken by different people. But you also can choose not to love but it will be as if you are walking dead because your heart is so hard that it cannot be made alive.

I'd rather love and experience brokenness than not love at all and experience absolute sadness. After all, my God, whom I serve, is a mender of broken hearts.

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" -Ps. 34:18

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." -Ps. 147:3

Not Just Any Prince

The innocent, young woman in me just wanted to show kindness to someone who expressed the need for help. But then here you go with your agenda and I can read through your words that your intentions was more than getting help from a friend. I knew then and there that it was not my help you needed.

For a second, it almost seemed like you were treating me like a princess--many girls dream to be one. By the look in your eyes and by the flattering words you spell you almost got me into your net.

But no, you didn't get me. By the wisdom bestowed upon me by my parents and advisors I knew your intentions were wrong. Suddenly disgust started to flow through my veins. Disgust for people like you who do not think well before they say. Disgust for people like you who take young, innocent women's kindness for granted. What if I was too innocent to have bitten your apple? I can foresee what will become of me.

No, I did not say it was wrong for you to love--if then it was love. Was it love? I know for a fact it is not. Not the real love because "...perfect love casts out fear." (1 John 4:18) Your actions created great fear that I feel like running away in a faraway land. No it is not real love because God is love and therefore any action that does not come from Him is not love (1 John 4:8). You were too quick as if you have not thought about what you were doing.

Enough of this deception of yours for your needs would not be satisfied by anyone but God. He is the only one that can bring the friendship you are longing not me nor any other woman. I do not want to be your princess because I am already His princess. I will always be His--God's princess. He will be the only one to say which prince He will entrust me with.

Dear lady,

Be careful whom you trust. "... be wise as serpents and innocent as doves"-Matthew 10:16
There will be men who will try to run after you who use different styles to get you. Do not easily bite the fruit if you don't really know what you are eating and where it will bring you. Seek advice and do not make decisions quickly but do things with careful consideration; it is your heart and life that is on the line. There will be those who just want to deceive you for their personal gain. Be alert and do not depend on your feelings or you might fall into a trap. By the way do not hate them just hate what they do. If ever your heart was already broken refer to my next blog about http://heartintentions.blogspot.com/2012/11/learning-to-love.html

Your beloved lady like,

 

Stancy

A Father's Heart

We are innocent children. We do not know what's ahead of us and not sure of the danger we might face. We look around not knowing where to go; so lost in this diverse and wide world. We try doing different things to see what's best for us but we seem to be walking with blind eyes. We keep on making mistakes and falling into traps that entangle us; they are so hard to be free from once chained.

Then someone gently grabs our hand, ready to be alongside us to lift us up and lead us to the right path. The path to make lesser mistakes. He holds our hand and makes sure we never fall again. He gives us instructions and warnings of what to do and what not to do. Little by little, as long as we keep listening to that voice and let him guide us we learn to walk the right path. He takes us to the safest place to not suffer what others have going the wrong way.

Once we've learned a lot we try to let go of the hand and walk our own way not prepared of the bigger dangers ahead. The dangers of pride, selfishness, and whatnot that lets us forget what he has done for us. We think we can make it on our own that we become proud of ourselves. Suddenly our respect for the instructing and guiding voice fades as we close our ears little by little.

But then, here he is again, he never gives up. He tries harder to call us back again and teach us the way. In our stubborn hearts we keep on doing the wrong things--going our own way; committing the sins or things that only destroy us; doing the things many others do around us without checking it's consequences; and many more to replace what we do not realize as good things.

The man in his persistence because of his love and care for us would not let anything worse happen to us. He does his best to call our attention and lift us up from the deep pit we are stuck in. He corrects us when we are in the wrong and teaches us what to do. He even sends someone to look after us. Our eyes little by little open and realize of his great love for us; seeking everything he could do for our own good. His intention to show us love glows brighter and brighter each day as we listen to him more.

When we decide to fully grasp his guidance, his arms are wide open welcoming our full heart that is ready to receive from him. He restores us and declares his love for us as his children. We feel total security like never before and thankful for the gift of a father's heart.

If we do not have a physical father who shows us a father's heart we are blessed with a real Father in heaven who loves looking after us and guiding us to paths that will lead to goodness and success. "His love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on us." Even if we run out of love to give Him He still have so much to give. He even sent His son Jesus Christ for us to have a total rescue from eternal suffering in hell.

How better can a father's heart be? The heart that make me teary-eyed feeling so much love.

   "Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea. You will be faithful to Jacob, and show love to Abraham, as you pledged on oath to our ancestors in days long ago." -Micah 7:18-20

From friend to friend

"When I remember the time we met, I pause for a little, and give God praise That He, of His grace, in my life has set that gladdest, golden day of all my days."

For the sake of Fashion

This phrase came to my mind when I was having my picture taken at Winona Lake in Indiana. For the sake of fashion I had removed my jacket in a very cold weather. I was freezing while waiting for my photo to be taken. At the back of my mind I was thinking about the things people would do for the sake of fashion. I find myself in that position many times.

What would you do for the sake of fashion?

Maybe you wake up least two hours (really?) before leaving in the morning so you could style your hair and make sure you look nice or cool for the day. Hey, there's a big difference between being presentable and being vain.

Some would go for the extremes (I wouldn't do this) but I've met or seen quite a lot spend money that they don't have. Remember "Confessions of a Shopaholic"? Come on, if you are really a person for fashion you would know what to do with what you have. Behind fashion is the word creativity and yes "out of crisis comes creativity".

You think about it. Fashion is beautiful. I love it and a lot of people love it. But too much of it can harm us or the people around us. Be fashionable at the same time be wise.

In the same way, I suggest you also look up http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/ to know if your fashion or the way you dress does not affect others negatively.

When it's time to be silent

Oh, that you would be silent, And it would be your wisdom! -Job 13:5

Job was in his deep misery in need of comfort but his friends who seem to think they need to explain why Job was in such misery. They talked too much about things Job already knew himself. In their carelessness with their words they have condemned Job analyzing things in their own perceptions. Instead of being a comfort to Job they were an added misery. The good thing about this is that Job, even in his misery, thinks clearly about God and about others. He has counteracted the miserable words of his supposed "friends" by teaching them that there are moments where their silence would be their wisdom.
Job's friends were trying to help him but they didn't know how to. As much as we all want to help our friends we must also admit the times when we don't know what to do to help them. Maybe these are the times that we just need to be silent and listen (give them our ears)--stop talking.

Remember talking and then you wished you never did? Yeah, I've had those moments and I regret them. Your purpose to help might just end in misery if you keep talking.

Determine the time to be silent. :)

Good intentions that lack influence